The Body Negative


Hellooo, I found your site via body image Google Plus communities. I think it’s really great that people are freely talking more about body image issues. I think it helps here that you are promising anonymity. My feelings rule my life really, and they have done for as long as I can remember, so much so, and following a couple of aggressive relationships, I decided I would stay alone forever.
I am 41. Years ago I was lucky enough to be asked out by a lovely man, but stupid enough to say no. He left it a few months and then asked again, mentally and physically I was in a much better place so I said yes this time. In April 2014 we will have been together 11 years. He is my best friend, we have no children ‘cos neither of us like them, we are not married, he is 47. Everything appears great to outsiders but my issues get in the way of EVERYTHING.
How I feel, whether or not I can leave the house on a particular day, whether or not I answer the door, not being confident enough to go to the bar, getting changed in another room, always wearing a coat, always taking forever to get ready….the list goes on…. 😦 I feel I am trapped, well, we are trapped actually. the reality is there are loads of us out there with issues, I understand that and I find the whole thing irritatingly pathetic if I’m honest.
Anyway, in 2006 I started to write my fiance a letter to explain my feelings. The more I wrote the more it felt like a personal journal/diary. My only true friend read it and found it to be entertaining/funny and sad! (She probably shares some of these things herself!). So I decided to type it out and then I left it sitting there. I blogged a bit of it last year but was too afraid to connect it anywhere in case people realised it was me!!!..Bizarre! I have just re done the whole thing properly…feel free to read, even if you think I am totally mad….

Good luck with your site…x
I will come back…

PS…those are MY KNEES on that picture!

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photo credits:  LeftMiddleRight